No suprises

My dogs live in this house. Yes, ALL of them. You are welcome to come and visit me with several weeks advance notice so I can make a halfhearted effort to clean up. But we have a few things that you must understand before you visit.

You must expect a LOT of dog hair to stick to your clothes. There might be some in your food, too, but what’s a few dog hairs between friends? With all these dogs, who has time to vacuum or clean? The dogs live in this house but they don’t like cleaning, either.

You may be leaned on and find them in your lap a few times and you might be licked a LOT; but they do this because they love people and want to say hello. So if you feel that you are too good for their love then you are not welcome here because this is their home too.

Some of my dogs are well mannered. Others are just more exuberant. If they’ve just gone swimming, they’re either very clean or really muddy. If you are one of those people who think all animals are dirty and smell, then my dogs will probably confirm your theory. Leave while you have the chance.! You have been warned! You are not the type of person that will be happy here.

If you don’t like the sound of barking, then my home is not going to be a comfortable place for you to visit. You may want to bring ear protectors. Do not expect me to lock my dogs in another room during your visit.

I have trained my dogs, but perhaps not the way most people consider trained, so watch out! They may leap into your lap at any time! I could shut them up into crates, but heck then they’d just howl and we wouldn’t get to visit anyway, so just put on your old clothes and resign yourself. Telling you otherwise would be cruel.

When you walk into my home, be careful not to trip on a stuffed toy or ball. These are my dogs’ treasures and I will not take them away from them just to show you that I keep a clean house. Believe me just picking up the toys wouldn’t do it. They know where all their toys are. Those shredded toy remains may not look like much to you, but I spent a fortune on them!

You see this is OUR home. We have been together since they were small puppies scampering around the house, little tiny things. I raised them and we suit each other just fine. You’re here, what, once a year? I live here year round and I like them just the way they are, thank you very much. I am proud of them. I consider them my personal gifts from God.

They have done nothing but give me their endless love and devotion for many years. I love them dearly and want to make their years happy ones. As happy as they make mine. When you go home to your family, they stay here with me. Fine and loving companions. They are MY family and I wouldn’t change that for the world. When it was cold and there was no heat, we kept each other warm. When I was sick, they stayed right by my side as I did theirs when they were not having a good day.

Better friends I could not ask for. When no one else cared, my dogs did. They may bankrupt me yet, but my dogs have given me nothing but pure joy and I love them endlessly. So please understand that I am not being rude. I’m just looking out for my best friends.

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~ by Ashlee on August 21, 2004.

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