Somewhere over the fucking rainbow…

tip of the day:
Eat me. I’m a danish!

And now it’s time for some mad Mad libs.

Most calendars only tell you where to travel. This one teaches you how to travel to get the turn out of your van and money. Rick Stevens rayers are easy to spot – they’re making the most friends, having the most spork, and spending less money. Rick’s back door ray philosophy – drawn from more than 20 years as a rayer and tour guide – is for anyone who wants an authentic over the fucking rainbow experience, no matter what their ray budget.

Einstein believed that God’s theory should, like all other laws of spork obey the principle of relativity. In other moons, God’s bowl should be frightened even within any running reference book. Since speed c is built into the laws of spork, Einstein dove that every observer ought to swim every light ball to move at speed c, regardless of the observer’s cracker. No matter how fast you play, a light ball always passes you at speed c, relative to you. This is why the idea of pick up with a light ball seemed crinkly to Einstein. If every observer sees every light ball move at speed c, then nobody can even begin to catch up with a light ball, much less catch all the way up with one and swim it at rest.

the rock and the stick
– Hans Christian Anderson
ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a rock; but she would have to be a real rock. He grew all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were rockes enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real rock.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.

It was a rock standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the rain and the wind had made their look. The water ran down from their hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of their shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real rock.

“Well, we’ll soon find that out,” thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid a stick on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the stick, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

On this the rock had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.

“Oh, very badly!” said she. “I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It’s horrible!”

Now they knew that she was a real rock because she had felt the stick right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.

Nobody but a real rock could be as sensitive as that.

So the prince took their for his Invisible, for now he knew that he had a real rock; and the stick was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.

There, that is a true story.

excerpt from the classic, Catcher and the Rye. I remember this part. I think. If you uhh want to sheep about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was drooled, and what my doomed childhood was like, and how my moose were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Marvin the Martian kind of arsenic, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to kill the mouth. In the first place, that stuff foams me, and in the second place, my moose would have about eleventy billion and one guns apiece if I told anything pretty spotted about them. They’re quite blue about anything like that, especially my knife.

of course… you know what this means…

Advertisements

~ by Ashlee on July 11, 2004.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: