“Hey, I could, no, I’m too stupid.”

I hate pretending to be happy.

God, Katie. come back. haha… *sigh*
I don’t feel well today. I haven’t for a long period of time for a long time (that came out strange).

I was watching…. what was I watching…………………. damnit. I don’t remember. It was good. It was on tnt. I think. I may be wrong. Right before house on haunted hill. no, maybe not… it may have been. I think it was. I watched return to cabin by the lake earlier… but then there was something else. The mummy. That was it. God. Talk about caught in a flowing stream of thought. Ppff. I want my aunty. She’s not here. She’s at home. Ppff ehh. We were watching the mummy today. And it came across the part where the men in white robes are extracting something from a long cave and the man in the red fez was yelling egyptian at them or something. Then mikey (brendan frasier.. mr oconnel, rick oconnel) walks away.

I was thinking that i know you probably could have told me something so cool about that movie or that part… pertaining to how they made the movie or where, or to something about their clothes… or the fez…. or something about ancient egypt… and I missed you again. And I still miss you so much. I saw you on my web page today. If nobody had been there I would have cried. I don’t know if I wanted them to be there at the moment I saw you or not. Because I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to see you again there on that page. And I need to cry. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at it. Or what to do with myself. Or that picture or that page. I miss you so much.

May someone strike down the man who performed the service. Who the fuck was he to say how much you loved your family, or what you liked to do. Who cares if you were in the navy or that you worked at louisiana plastics and electronics. He didn’t. We do. He didn’t. He didn’t even know you and he should be hit for insulting you with so tacky of a service. Maybe this is just my anger. I don’t want to open old wounds or make new ones. Maybe it’s my anger. But I could have strangled that man. Who wrote his program? Ppff.

The billboard read:
Rent free movies with report card A’s.
As were driving down broadway coming home… mom decides she wants to make a joke. So she says, “Hey, Ash, you could rent free movies.”
Hey. Guess what. That was the joke. Isn’t she funny?

Lets make a list… from all the things people around me(friends, family, teachers) have said… the list now amounts to everything I’ve always said about myself but everyone has denied in my face…

1. fat
2. stupid
3. ugly
4. a hassle
5. a problem

well thank you.

Transfer of “puppeh2.jpg” is complete.
Transfer of “sadie_dark.JPG” is complete.
Transfer of “sadie_light.JPG” is complete.
Chewbacca: those are wicked…thank you

And you’re welcome. She’s cute. Kill your mom, keep the puppy. 🙂

*sigh*. I think I need some happy boosters. if someone could boost my happiness I’d give them a hug.

Why again am I here?


~ by Ashlee on June 20, 2004.

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